Deaths and Cakes

My dear friend L's mother passed away.
She had a long life, a good life, and a relatively easy death, comfortable. I knew her very little, but heard stories.
Today at her funeral her daughter, my friend, a tiny yet strong woman, was digging a shovel into the mound of earth, throwing the soil into the open grave, again ad again and again, getting more and more emotional with every heave, I thought how good it was - the action of throwing the soil on your mother's casket makes sure you are achingly aware of her passing. It's a physical act that resonates with us all. We watched her, standing in the rain under our umbrellas, and we cried with her, and then we went to have some cakes in her honor.
For my son this was a first funeral. I tried to explain what the Kadish prayer means - the blessing for the sacred soul that passed away. We told him where we want our ashes to be scattered. We hope he will remember.